Do You Need a Time Budget?

Journaling ….

Today our kids and I started our day at a lake here in Michigan with family. It was our last day with them and we were sad to leave, but happy to be on our way home. Several times during the time we spent with them I reflected on how I used to push myself to be more, do more so I could have more, desire more time, etc. Are you ever that way? Wanting more time with anyone you love? Wanting more money to do whatever it is you desire to do with it? (Hopefully, good things.) Wanting more time in a day do all the things we think we should be doing? Or to do the things we crave doing? (i.e. crafts, reading, writing, hunting, etc.)

Well, this evening when we arrived home, unloaded our things, and began the task of putting it all away I found myself thinking about people I wanted to reach out to, time I wanted to spend with our kids (guys I home school … I am with our kids nearly 7 days a week 24 hours a day), so I should say spend QUALITY non-school time with our kids, planning a weekend with my husband…dang even just a date would be nice, on and on my mind went. Then it landed on writing and in that very moment our daughter commented,” Mom maybe since Dad will not be working any weekends this summer you can get a new bike, we can get a seat for the littlest one, and we can go on bike rides?” I so loved the idea of ALL these thoughts and things running through me head. Those of you that know me know how much they were all sucking me in. Ha! I started to feel anxiety and thinking “I can not do all these things and be all I need to be for everyone in my life and … LORD, I still REALLY want to read, watch TV sometimes, and Lord don’t you know I also need to check in to Facebook? How will people survive without my posts?” Okay I didn’t really think ALL that in that moment, but it hit me later when that same daughter in a conversation said “You didn’t hear me because you were on your phone.” Now don’t get me wrong I am NOT on my phone often at all, BUT honestly I am on it more than I should be and apparently enough to miss my kids needing me.

So, I looked began to look at my time as having to be budgeted like money. Just like we need to look at our spending to monitor where the money goes. We need to do the same thing with our time. When we look at money we list our NEEDS and priorities as expenses to include first, and then we add in the extras and make cuts. Well, the same is true about our time. We need to make a list of the things that NEED to be done for God, our family, home, and health. Then we add in the extras and/or cut things out. NOW sometimes we may need to do this right down to the minute to flush bad habits. For me the only thing I need to CUT out is checking my phone. I am sure when that bad habit is flushed God will reveal another … won’t you Lord. I am sure there are plenty, but one at a time. So, make your ‘time budget’ and let me know how it changed or didn’t change your day. Here is the kicker we get worried if we listen to what God wants us to do then we will never have time for what we want, but He ALWAYS makes time for all you need when you put what He needs first. ALWAYS! Sort of like when your kids do their chores you bless them with free time or some other reward.

Now … how I really got through my anxiety was just sitting down to prayers and making time to write…type out my thoughts. Again no grammar check. Just free flow. Sorry to the grammar police.

Final thought

” All the armies that ever marched, and all the navies that ever sailed, and all the parliaments that ever sat, and all the kings that ever reigned, put together, have not affected the life of man upon this earth as powerfully as has this on solitary life.” Dr. James Allan Francis

If that is not clear, he is referring to Jesus. So, if all those people didn’t affect life here like Jesus who am I to think I can. So, each day just ask Him to set your time budget for the day and be intentional about sticking to it.

As always I am praying for you, please pray for me. Could you pray I set the anxiety stick down and just step out and live each day by faith? Thank you!!

Embracing Your Kid’s Interests

Over the past two years I have enjoyed and struggled with things our kids are interested in. To clarify, I am talking about things that are more than a passing interest. These are things that they continue to learn and discover about.

I have moments that I want to forbid them their interest, because I simply do not understand it or it looks/sounds weird to me. I mean why can’t my good Christian kids read/study their Bible’s, dive into devotionals, listen to Christian Music all the time, etc. WHY do they have to discover things that make me wonder if I am a good parent?

Well, I am no expert and I am sure there are MANY Christian parents out there that will disagree with me in our approach. Yet, we have chosen to follow the following steps, for the most part, when our kids develop interests that either concern us OR we just plain think are odd OR we ourselves have NO INTEREST in.

  1. We do our very best to research the thing they are drawn to. We learn the good and bad about it. Then we evaluate if either side out weigh’s the other FOR OUR child and our family. In other words, research and discussion between Mom and Dad.
  2. Then we discuss with the child what we found and what we believe is best. Maybe limited time. Maybe they can only participate or view something when one parent is present. Maybe we decide this interest is not in their best interest and we do forbid it.
  3. Next, we follow-up and make sure they are following our guidelines. If it was something we allowed them to continue with we then choose to learn what we can about it. This allows us to converse with them about it and engage them. We want them to know that their parents may not know EVERYTHING about this, but they are willing to learn, love them enough to want to spend time doing things they enjoy, and also that we are aware of their habits/interests.
  4. Finally, we embrace them and their interests as best we can. We watch movies with them. We watch YouTube videos with them. We encourage them to create things they learn about. We always refer them back to God and our faith. We set an example that we have interests, but we put God and our family first.  Keeping things in proper perspective.

I guess what I am saying is our kids are not our clones. They are going to like things that make no sense to us or may even seem dumb. We choose not to ridicule them or blow it off. We feel that pushes our kids away from us rather than creating a lasting relationship with them. We choose to make the tough parental calls when we need to, but we also explain to our kids why. They may not like it, but at least they know Mom and Dad didn’t just say no. They know we respected them enough to research it and give them REASONS for our decisions.

As parents our number one priority is to keep them close to God. If we choose not to embrace what they are interested in then we may risk pushing them away, which makes it pretty hard to draw them to Jesus Christ.

DISCLAIMER: We do not do a great deal of explaining to our 3-year-old. Ha! We do, but we do more…”No! You WILL NOT run into the road.” or “Yes you can color on THAT paper.” In this post I am referring to our approach with our older children.

 

Finding Purpose Again

There was a time in my life when I was too young to even care about my purpose in being here. Then came the time that I became a teacher and everything changed. I knew from the first day in a classroom that I was to be a teacher.

Oh, my heart filled up with joy and pain when I was in the classroom. Sure I had a life and another purpose that superseded being a teacher and it was being a wife. Eventually, becoming a mom interfered as well. Yet, what I am talking about is that purpose that somewhere inside of you … you just know you are meant to be there in that place. That is how I felt about teaching. Well, shoot when my babies started I arriving I knew I was supposed to be home with them, but what I wasn’t prepared for what that sense of purpose was gone. That feeling I felt when I was teaching … was … well gone.

I know…I know some of you are thinking “Well, you are a Mom now THAT is your purpose!” I am here to tell you that my head and my heart KNEW God wanted me home, but something in my being wasn’t grasping the idea that being a Mom was a purpose. Maybe I am slow. I remember PLEADING with God to show me my purpose.

Lord please show me what my purpose is here! Help me! I am feeling so misplaced, lost, confused, inadequate, I can do more than this,  … 

I recall within days of finally truly PLEADING with Him that I was at my computer and the radio was on Family Life Radio when this song came on about a busy Mom and all the seemingly mundane things we do … and … well … I sat there and cried as I heard him say it matters. Then shortly after that hearing the words “God could have chosen anyone to be their Mom, but He didn’t … He chose you!” THIS….THIS was the beginning of me seeing His plan for me.

See it isn’t as much about feeling purpose as it is rather about allowing Him to work each day through you to achieve purpose. 

That realization came to me through a series of little moments…a movie called Mom’s Night Out, which is where I heard AGAIN that God chose me, books, watching our kids grow and interact with others, SLOWING down my pace to hear Him, and learning to wait on my Lord. Tonight though was the first time I wrote it out like that in bold print and I am crying now as it really becomes even more real to me. Sharing with you all ALWAYS brings something new to light.

“We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

See it is called according to His purpose. My hang up was in thinking that His purpose wasn’t great or grandeur enough. He has placed a dream in my heart and I am sure one day I will see it come true. Yet, each day He leads my steps to His purpose for that day and eventually one step at a time all the steps will come together. Just like now I can look back and see how EVERYTHING good and bad has gotten me here, I am sure I will look back then and see exactly the same thing. Probably how my crazy random blogging was a part of something even greater to come.

So, if you are struggling with being a Mom and finding your purpose please know He is working HIS purpose through you in each moment. For now He needs you to allow Him to work through you. Right? Or Wrong?

I am praying for you! Please pray for me!

Who, But God Knew — Part 4

I thought is was fitting to finish this story on our #4 baby’s 3rd Birthday.

This might be the hardest part of the story for me because the time before her birth was a very difficult time for us. Financially things were not easy and many people judged us for me not  finding a job while he was laid off and for choosing to home school. Though the hardest part was how to pay the bills.

In 2011 I went to my routine doctors appointment and found out I was pregnant, but had also started my cycle. It was a the first time in my life that I could get some understanding of what some may feel when the choose to have an abortion. NO WAY was that an option, but I was horrified to tell my husband, who did not want anymore kids. Not because he wouldn’t love more, but because … well… we were struggling. Plus, he was ready to have the kids getting to an age that maybe he and I could get more alone time. I can not share what happened between us when I told him as it is very personal. Lets just say God was with us because we needed Him. I did lose that baby and the whole time was very emotional. It was miscarriage number 5 and in some ways the hardest.

Almost one year later I became pregnant again and yes it was not received well. Yet, as I keep track of my temperatures and ovulation this month it was 4 days earlier that ever before. This was truly God taking control of what is His to control not ours. The next three months were a very lonely and quiet three months. I was extremely fatigued like I have never felt before. I was sick, but nothing extreme. At twelve weeks we told the kids they were going to have a baby brother or sister. Oh man were they excited and picking names already. The rest of the world the found out…when I shared on Facebook. With the rest of the world excited our world started to change as the date drew closer.

On April 9, 2013 she was born in a dramatic fashion as #1 and #2 were and has been dramatically been bring joy into our world ever since. She is a wise soul. She seems to always just know. Her mannerisms are beyond her years. Her character is always bringing a smile to someone’s face. AND she has her Daddy wrapped around her finger. Oh, who is kidding who…her WHOLE hand. Her older siblings several times have wished they could stop her from growing up so they could snuggle her forever. Our family was not complete without her and Who, but God Knew….

March 3, 2016 – Dear God

Dear God it is me a Mom,

The past week Lord it seems one thing after another brings me to (as my Mom used to the) “the end of my rope”. Though I know I my heart I am NO WHERE close to the end of my rope my head is just plain feels out of options.

No matter where I turn there are toys and You Lord created me to dislike mess … why did you give me four kids to home school when I DO NOT LIKE MESS? Ha the irony in that! I love my life I am abundantly blessed. You know my heart I would NEVER exchange a clean house for no kids…OMGOODNESS what a horrifying thought. Thank You for flipping a switch for me yesterday in how to better manage chores for our family. I think it will work out great!

It seems like every time I turn around somebody is coughing or has a runny nose. Lord, please let it be that discovering the food allergies eliminates this problem. Thank You for leading us down that path. Please continue to help us eat right and healthy. Oh, and could you please help the kids to feel so much better they stop being so devastated by this?? It is hard for a Mom you know to be sick and take care of sick kids. I know you are a Dad and not a Mom so maybe you do not know this…sorry Lord I am being sarcastic with you. I know with all I am you treasure us all especially us Moms.

I know in my heart you are carrying me through everything. Most of the time I feel you, but other times like now I have to write you a letter with tears in my eyes to sort through it all with your help. You know “they” say talking things out is always better than keeping them bottled up. So, we are talking things out and I know you have the time!

Lord, I know you called…lead (called is odd to some people you know) me to home school our children. Again I know that in my whole being! I can look back over the past 6 years and completely understand why. YET>>>>Man God strong-willed children, a strong-willed Mom AND dyslexia nothing like bringing the Mom to her knees EVERYDAY! Hearing the frustration in their voices. Listening to them struggle with the words and calculations. Watching them trying to write letters and numbers. That is one thing, but hearing them scream and cry AT ME … Lord promise me we will get through this! Promise me they will not hate me for getting them through this the best way I know how. Lord, HELP THEM TO SEE the progress they are making!! Lord, please help them to grow into wonderful beautiful grateful adults. Lord, please just help me hold on to the peaks to get through the valleys…or help me to see the beauty in the valleys. Yes, help me to see the beauty of the valleys!

AHHHHHhhhhh…..feeling better Lord … Ya know Lord I am sure I am not the only Mom struggling with it all PLEASE lift them up, too. Help them to know I am walking their walk and with You we will get through it all. I hope they know they can talk to You, too. You are tough you can take it, right?!

Sometimes though Lord a HUG would be really good…can You help us to feel Your hugs during the day? We know you give them, but open our hearts to FEEL them!

WOW….I needed this cry! Thank You Lord for listening! Amen. Love this Mom!

FINAL THOUGHTS to reader…like I said I would be sharing my thoughts and this is how I journal on a daily basis. I record our day in the form of a prayer or conversation with God. It helps me sort through it all and to hear Him. Setting grammar, spelling, punctuation aside I write/type. So, you get the raw version.  My Prayer for you is that you learn to just talk to Him I think that is what He wants more than anything.

Why Homeopathy?

In my “Why Home School?” post I shared how in many ways I wasn’t sure why I wanted to home school … I just did. Same is true for why we started to use Homeopathy… I just did. Yet, there are the events that led up to our using this form of treatment on a regular basis. I can share that with you. Our why is in no way a recommendation for you and your family. Our why is just our story as to why we found this to work best for our family. Plus, it is all based on “controversial” evidence, which always leads me to tell people “Do your research and decide what is best for you and your family off of your own knowledge not what I do!”

Once upon a time we decided to start eating more organic foods and then more NON-GMO foods. During that time we were also becoming more and more aware of how dangerous fever reducers and other over the counter drugs were. We were also researching the side effects and dangers of vaccines. Keep in mind during this time I was full of anxiety and near panic wondering what decision was the right one. It was a horrible time for me I was living under a blanket of fear. I hated the thought that the next shot might lead to something horrible, but I also hated the idea of them getting some disease. AUGH….I was on a huge roller coaster of emotions. Both sides could say the other side was scary me and they would be accurate. The doctors scared me REALLY they did tell me horrible things while handing my a sheet of paper that listed the possible side effects for vaccines that I was choosing for waive until I could make a for sure choice. The other side had people that scared me of death being possible, which it is. I was tied up in knots and I am pretty sure this is the first time I am sharing with anyone how hard the decision was for me. I can say it is probably a very hard and emotional decision for most of the families that make this choice.

This is where my journey into homeopathy started. I knew I did not want to use drugs or vaccinate my children UNLESS I was forced to due to some circumstance. Yet, like many think of those that choose this route I did not chose this route lightly. I read a GREAT deal. I prayed a GREAT deal. I had lots of tears and panic attacks. Through all of that it seems like one step after another just led me to homeopathy. I do not even recall searching it out it is almost like it found me. I remember saying that I felt that the part in the Bible where Jesus tells us by His stripes we are healed that is was more than being saved…it was more than miracles…it was be Him, who is God, we are healed…I remember thinking how God goes before us. When God created this world he knew what situations we would have in 2016. Who are we to think He wouldn’t then create everything we would need to cure ourselves. All random thoughts flooding my mind. Not necessarily connected to homeopathy, but connected to my journey to find ways to help our family when we are sick instead of shots, over the counter meds, and over used antibiotics. I am not against using these things and would if we felt it was necessary, but I can say our home has been antibiotic free for 7 years.

We started with using remedies to help with teething symptoms. Then we added other remedies for cold symptoms. Eventually, I found myself reading about homeopathy and taking an 18 month course on using homeopathy in the home for acute situations. During this course I learned a great deal about how our bodies work in all situations. How the immune system was designed to work by our creator. How our body responds in a trauma situation. I came away from this class knowing WHY a clean body was the best and really only option. The thing with homeopathy though is that it is a lifetime journey. It is very individualized that it can be frustrating when you have a house for a sick people. Yet, when you see it work within minutes of putting it in their mouth…When you are in mid asthma attack and you take a dose every 15 minutes and feel yourself getting better each time…when those things happen you feel good knowing you USED the body as God intended it…you used the things of this world as God intended them to be used…to heal!

Again, I am in no way saying you need or should use homeopathy it was our choice and what has been the best for our family. I am not a doctor just a mom so you need to make that very personal and private decision for yourself and your family.

 

Oh, The Thoughts A Meme Creates!

So, on February 23 the below meme showed up on my personal Facebook Timeline via Hopkins Homeschool. I chuckled, shared it, and still continue to think about it. NOT dwell on it, but think about how silly and serious it is.

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Before we were even married I told my now husband I eventually wanted to be home to raise our kids. The thought of home schooling had not formed, yet. It took us 5 years to have our first child then another 2.5 years for the second one to come. At this point I was quite itchy to come home. He finally threw up his hands and said “Fine turn in your letter of resignation.” Looking back on the timing it was not good timing. I caved to my emotions rather than letting God lead, but ALSO being home has been a decision I know I have never regretted.

Yet, until the past 3 years it never really hit me to my job never ends. That is both a blessing and a struggle. When you are sick or like me battling adrenal fatigue and need lots of rest, regular exercise, a structured diet, etc. managing all that to keep yourself healthy and sane PLUS whatever four kids demand … well that is a struggle. The blessing is … “Being a stay-at-home Mom means you never have to leave to go to work!”

Now don’t get me wrong. MANY Moms and Dads both have to work due to circumstances. Many choose not to Home School so once their kids are in school they choose to work. Many love what they do and choose to work. For me though the best decision was to stay home. I was a miserable mess not being home and my former students will tell you I loved my job as a teacher and I loved them. God just placed a BIG HUGE desire on my heart I refused to ignore.

So, yes I never get to leave and this job requires my attention 24 hours 7 days a week, but even if my “boss” didn’t allow me some breaks it would still be the only job for me. Thankfully, though my husband is wonderful and never refuses me taking a break. A break I need to keep us all healthy and happy.

Final Thought…Yes I have many moments I would like to just punch out and walk out the door for a few hours, but the benefits package far out weighs the long hours. Besides this is one job that pays dividends for generations to come.

God Bless! Praying for you please pray for me!

What is Their Love for You Rooted In?

It has been a few days since I shared anything with you and I am sorry, but with our weather and a head cold I have been trying to get through the MUST do’s of each day.

The other day my husband and I were talking about a day we have coming up that two kids would have to be somewhere at the same time, but in opposite directions AND it is a day that he worked the night before so will need to sleep. We discussed a strategy, which will work out beautifully. I even talked about it with the kids so they knew what to expect that day.

Later that day I was washing a few dishes, looking out a window into our back yard, and like my mind always does it wondered into a stream of thoughts. You know the kind that take you to somewhere glorious, but when you try to share it with someone they are all confused as to why you were thinking about that and how in the world one thought took you all the way to that final thought…you know, right? ANYWAY, I was looking out the window (I will spare you the thought trail) when eventually it occurred to me “I hope our kids are learning about our love for them by observing the sacrifices we make and not because of what they are gaining due to those sacrifices!”

First of all, with four children and a Daddy that works 6-7 days a week so Momma can stay home (I just had to break to dress a Barbie doll…I knew you would want to know) there are plenty of events that both or at least one parent cannot make it to. Whether it be because we are both running kids somewhere, or one is running and one is home with the others, or one is working/sleeping, or as in the case of horse riding Mom is severely allergic to the barn and cannot go in. It occurred to me that dish washing day that I hoped our kids choose not see us NOT there, but rather chose to see all the other stuff. Do they see how much Dad has to miss, because it was important Mom was home?  I hope they grasp how much of his income goes to pay for the activities they are in. I began reflecting on this and thinking I hope they would grow up to love us more for that and not grow up wondering why we were not always there.

Secondly, I hoped they were not growing up loving the stuff Daddy’s money bought them, but rather loving the time it took to earn that money and loving the fact that he willingly choose to spend it on their desires, dreams, and passions instead of his own. Or are they loving the recital costumes or riding equipment rather than the Daddy that worked really hard to earn the money to buy those things. Are they loving Mom for being there every day for them or for the time she gives up being her own person so she can do what God called her to do?

So, I reflected on this and thought the only way to ensure that our kids are seeing and getting all this that we desire for them is to ALWAYS talk to them. We talk to them sometimes people are baffled by our choice to explain things to kids. You know “They are the kids. You are the parent. They should just deal with it!” mentality? For whatever reason, we do not always take that route. We tell our kids how it is. That it is not all about money, but money is needed to pay bills and such. That we are a family and families work together to achieve the family goal first and then the individual goals.

They may not completely get it. They may wish Mom and Dad BOTH could be at everything, but we are a part of a team … and that they get and respect. They know Daddy doesn’t CHOOSE to work every day of the week because he wants to, but because Mom and Dad want other things for the family that require Daddy to work. As a result, they do not whine about where we are. They never question why someone isn’t there. They are grasping the idea that we all work together to clean house, do laundry, and get everyone everywhere they want to be. It is a TEAM effort.

Final thought…Is their love for you rooted in the fact that you were there or is it in the fact that they know why you were not? Do they love you because you bought them that prized toy or because they know what it took for you to buy it? Do they love you because you are there at practice all the time or because you made it happen for them to be at practice? I think they should understand it both ways and love/respect you for it all.

God Bless! I am praying for you please pray for me!

 

Home School With a Block Schedule

I haven’t written about our home school world in a while or ever. Maybe because I never feel like I know anymore than any other home school person out there. Yet, I have come to let many things go and focus on the fact that those of us that home school do it our own way. We have our own lives, goals, family needs, needs of each child, etc., which we have to work into a routine to work best for us. It has taken us a bit of time because of many different things that came into play over the past 6 years. Seemed once I THOUGHT I had it all figured out something would occur…a new baby, a lay off, working from home, a different job or shift, etc.

Yet, I now believe that those past 6 years of learning how we work and reflecting on things I have read have led me to a state of PEACE with how we have been functioning over the past few months. Things are clicking for us in MANY areas of our home that it feels really good. I hesitate to share, because I think part of my frustration the past 6 years came from a sense that I needed to do what others were doing. Although, I also have taken pieces of what I learned as a High School teacher and pieces of everything I have absorbed as a home school Mom and applied it. With that said I suppose sharing may help someone on their journey.

Basically, during BOTH weeks we attend our Academic Co-Op one day a week and the other four days we do our Reading, Spelling, Handwriting, Math, and Co-Op homework each morning. Their homework this year is an essay, Geography work, and extra grammar or math review sheets. Then we have lunch. Evenings are pretty much the same each week as well. After we are home from their activities (dance, tumbling, horses, karate, scouts, gymnastics) and settled down for the evening we do reading/storytime. Each evening we read from a different area Monday is a Literature book, Tuesday US History, Wednesday is a book of their choosing, Thursday is World History and Map work, and Friday is poetry/Shakespeare.

During Week #1 our afternoons include our elective/hobby work and projects around home. We are also working to make sure all our appointments and play dates are done during this week. Things we do during this week are random home projects, yard work, cleaning the house, bulk baking and cooking (which the kids help with all steps), sewing, knitting, and anything else we want to learn to do.

During Week #2 our afternoons include studies of typical elective classes. These include our own

  • Geography work (2 lessons during week)
  • My son’s Scout badge activities (1 lesson/week)
  • My son’s religion work (1 lesson/week)
  • My son’s US History curriculum (1 chapter and activities/week)
  • Human Body Study/Sex – Ed/Anatomy whatever you want to call it (1 lesson each/week)
  • Language Arts which includes grammar, literature, and writing (2 lessons/week)
  • A Science experiment (1 lesson/week)
  • Science (1 lesson/week)

We do prioritize these as some of their workbooks are not a full year. Other things around the house take a back seat this week. We just maintain our world as we have 5 LONG full days of book work.

I have been feeling so much better knowing we are covering all our interests and all the things I feel they should be learning, but in such a manner that nobody hates learning here. We never feel overwhelmed and we are learning primarily through primary texts rather than textbooks.

Remember this is a system that is NOT perfect, but one that I have finally found works the best for the demands and structure of our family AT THIS STAGE of our lives. I am guessing in a couple of years things will change and require me to adjust AGAIN! All good as long as they are getting what they need.

God Bless! I am praying for you please pray for me!!

Mom, Do You Need Time Away?

I wrote the italic portion on October 10, 2014. I suppose there was a reason I never posted it until now. Maybe that I simply needed to reread it this evening as I prepare it to post tomorrow. I recall the evening I typed it. The words came to my head almost faster than I could type them. That weekend I felt closer to God than I had in a very long time.

So, I am here sitting out at Silver Lake at the Dunes knowing the beautiful Lake Michigan is on the other side. I am here by myself for myself to have alone time with my mind and my God. I am loving the sound of the waves. The smell of the brisk fresh air. Praying that God reveals many things to me this weekend, but mostly right now as I type what he needs you to hear.

Today, right now, He NEEDS you Mom’s to know that He treasures you like He treasures His own Momma Mary. He regards her with great honor and He feels the same for you.  See you are doing the same for your little’s that Mary did for Him. What is that? You are doing the best you can with what you have. You are teaching and guiding them the best you can with what you know. You search and reach for all you can learn, earn, and achieve so you can give them all they deserve, desire, and dream. You let God lead you each day to discover THEIR reason for being. You let God lead you to help Him mold them into where He needs them to be each day.

He wants you to know that He led others to help you. He wants you to know that it is a must for you to be alone with Him. To rest your body, mind, and soul. He/They need you to revive your spirit. To connect with Him so He can connect to them through you. It is okay. It is NOT being selfish to clear your heart and mind for a period of time. In fact, if you recall Jesus needed to and was called by God to do just that several times. Before Jesus there were Moses, Joshua, Abraham, David, Mary, Elizabeth, etc that were called to be alone with Him. To take a break from the demands of their role among the people to draw closer to God and His desires for them. To clearly see the visions God had for them.

Do you have to be gone for 60 hours at a Women’s Retreat on a lake like I am right now. NOPE…in fact this is my first time away from home, kids, husband, and family in 16 years. I have been in my home in our home town by myself, which was always very refreshing. That was perfect for me back them. Now though I have come to realize I can not send the kids to Grandma’s and just stay home. Why? Because for me I would find something that needed to be done. For this time in my life I need to be here…away…to be bored, to relax that I have not relaxed in a long time. Hey, and to be sharing with you all.

My first session starts at 8 pm. So, I am concluding Part 1 with this. He wants you to know He loves you beyond any feeling you can imagine, but more than even that He wants you to know to love Him so much that you can also love yourself enough to be alone.  Hmmm….enough to be alone….a thought to ponder….

I do have more I typed that weekend and I am sure I will post soon.

God Bless! I am praying for you please pray for me!