March 3, 2016 – Dear God

Dear God it is me a Mom,

The past week Lord it seems one thing after another brings me to (as my Mom used to the) “the end of my rope”. Though I know I my heart I am NO WHERE close to the end of my rope my head is just plain feels out of options.

No matter where I turn there are toys and You Lord created me to dislike mess … why did you give me four kids to home school when I DO NOT LIKE MESS? Ha the irony in that! I love my life I am abundantly blessed. You know my heart I would NEVER exchange a clean house for no kids…OMGOODNESS what a horrifying thought. Thank You for flipping a switch for me yesterday in how to better manage chores for our family. I think it will work out great!

It seems like every time I turn around somebody is coughing or has a runny nose. Lord, please let it be that discovering the food allergies eliminates this problem. Thank You for leading us down that path. Please continue to help us eat right and healthy. Oh, and could you please help the kids to feel so much better they stop being so devastated by this?? It is hard for a Mom you know to be sick and take care of sick kids. I know you are a Dad and not a Mom so maybe you do not know this…sorry Lord I am being sarcastic with you. I know with all I am you treasure us all especially us Moms.

I know in my heart you are carrying me through everything. Most of the time I feel you, but other times like now I have to write you a letter with tears in my eyes to sort through it all with your help. You know “they” say talking things out is always better than keeping them bottled up. So, we are talking things out and I know you have the time!

Lord, I know you called…lead (called is odd to some people you know) me to home school our children. Again I know that in my whole being! I can look back over the past 6 years and completely understand why. YET>>>>Man God strong-willed children, a strong-willed Mom AND dyslexia nothing like bringing the Mom to her knees EVERYDAY! Hearing the frustration in their voices. Listening to them struggle with the words and calculations. Watching them trying to write letters and numbers. That is one thing, but hearing them scream and cry AT ME … Lord promise me we will get through this! Promise me they will not hate me for getting them through this the best way I know how. Lord, HELP THEM TO SEE the progress they are making!! Lord, please help them to grow into wonderful beautiful grateful adults. Lord, please just help me hold on to the peaks to get through the valleys…or help me to see the beauty in the valleys. Yes, help me to see the beauty of the valleys!

AHHHHHhhhhh…..feeling better Lord … Ya know Lord I am sure I am not the only Mom struggling with it all PLEASE lift them up, too. Help them to know I am walking their walk and with You we will get through it all. I hope they know they can talk to You, too. You are tough you can take it, right?!

Sometimes though Lord a HUG would be really good…can You help us to feel Your hugs during the day? We know you give them, but open our hearts to FEEL them!

WOW….I needed this cry! Thank You Lord for listening! Amen. Love this Mom!

FINAL THOUGHTS to reader…like I said I would be sharing my thoughts and this is how I journal on a daily basis. I record our day in the form of a prayer or conversation with God. It helps me sort through it all and to hear Him. Setting grammar, spelling, punctuation aside I write/type. So, you get the raw version.  My Prayer for you is that you learn to just talk to Him I think that is what He wants more than anything.

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